January 20th 2023
Believing the best
Every day I come into the barn and I choose to believe the best. I choose to believe that no matter how yesterday went, today can be different. One of our first lessons in my draft animal course in college was about the concept, “ask, tell, demand.” You start with asking quietly, gently, always assuming they’ll respond. If they don’t you tell them a little bit more firmly, maybe you give a stronger physical cue. And then you demand that they do the thing you’ve asked, and you don’t let up until they show the first inclination of progress. Every single thing I do, whether it’s picking feet or driving a team or walking on a halter and lead, I follow this model. It’s become second nature. I always start with the assumption that today is the day they’ll respond to the “ask” even if they never have before. Every single time I ask I go back to softness. I give them every single chance to become more responsive. Eventually they start listening to the ask. They start tuning in. But I can’t skip it. There is no shortcut to gentleness. I never lose hope. I never stop asking. Every single day I choose to see the best in these animals. If I’m being honest I probably have significantly less tact with the humans in my life. And obviously, the model doesn’t totally translate as we don’t often go around making “demands” of the people in our lives. Things are bit more nuanced, and significantly more complex with our peers but I do think the root of the concept still stands. Every day we can choose to believe the best in each other. Every day we can wake up and assume that everyone around us is trying their best. We can choose to forgive when we’re wronged, and we can come back again and again holding onto that little spark that promises that people, more often than not, try to be kind when they can. I’ve been told more than once that I’m naive for believing this, and that very well may be true, but I just don’t know that I could stand the world otherwise. I have to believe that people are good. I have to believe that we can wake up to a clear morning and be better to each other than we were yesterday. At least that’s the path I want to take. Life’s too short for any other road.