September 2nd 2023

You’re creating the problem 

People often ask me which horse is my favorite. I usually hesitate, for good reason. They all have various strengths and good days and bad. I try to pick the right horse on the right day for the right task. But, I must admit that I have a soft spot for Ivy. Being used as a broodmare her work was limited and other than plowing I’m not positive what other farm equipment she’d been worked on. So when I showed up I started putting her on all kinds of equipment and doing all kinds of jobs. And every single time she passed with flying colors. She’s got heart, she’s quiet, she stays focused. All you could ask for in an equine coworker. Except for one thing- she continually threatens to bite the horse beside. If you’re turning toward her, just assume she’s going to reach over at her partner. If you’re working and she’s not happy she’ll likely take it out on them too. Usually she’ll do this until the other horse gets fed up and finally reacts. Then she seems completely offended by this shocking turn of events. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I grumble to her, “You’re creating the problem.” It gets frustrating watching the same pattern play out again and again. But I can’t help but have some sympathy for the mare. Ivy has spent her whole life protecting herself from the horse beside her, no matter who it is. And so even now, when she has no reason, she still feels unsafe. She reaches out, teeth bared, without cause or thought, more by instinct than anything else. Until she finally proves herself right. I’m coming to find that unlearning is much harder and takes much longer than learning. And it often requires railing against every instinct to protect yourself. It takes time, and practice, and an abundance of patience and grace from the people beside you. Maybe we will never be finished unlearning. Maybe we will never completely lower our defenses. Maybe on our worst days we will still lash out, reacting without thought. But I do promise that tomorrow we will try again.